13 Lessons You Can Learn About Relationships From ’13 Reasons Why’
It’s not just another Netflix original; it’s not just another book.
I started watching ‘13 Reasons Why’ about three weeks ago. It took me longer than usual to finish the series; not because it was too long, but, because, when you’re watching something as intense as this series, you need to take breaks in between to breathe. It overwhelms you. At some point, it feels like it’s too heavy, negative and graphic, even. But, all of those things need to be felt in order to understand human tendencies in society.
And there are a lot of you out there who haven’t watched the series, or wouldn’t advise others to, because you think it’s a “little much”. But, you’re doing a disservice to the show. You’re stopping people from understanding situations and humans who are real and around us every single day.
Here’s 13 things you learn after watching ‘13 Reasons Why’ and that’s’ why these are the 13 reasons why you stop all other subscriptions and watch this instead.
1. People Are Not Subject To Jokes
No matter how funny you think your sense of humour is, if another human being is a subject of your joke, you’ve clearly got your brain stuck in your arse. It’s worse when the joke is sexual in nature. Unless another person gives you full rights to use them in a joke—sexual, and/or otherwise—you have no authority to make that joke. It is not yours to make.
2. People Don’t Always Do What They Say
Truth is, they hardly ever do. That’s one of the reasons why I’m not a very big “people” person. I don’t like many people all that much. Because they’re flakey. They’ll change their stance when they feel cornered, they’ll twist their statements to please the higher-ups. They’ll even keep quiet because they don’t want to help you in something you deserve to be helped with. That’s people for you.
3. Friends Can’t Always Be Trusted
They are your friends. True, friends stick together; until it comes down to having to choose your own wellbeing over a friend’s. Then, it’s territorial. Then, it’s selfish. Then, it’s personal. It’s also normal. You’d have to be stupid to think that friends are going to choose you always, even if they say so, sealing it with a “pinky promise” and all. People say things all the time.
4. Don’t Believe Everything You See
Seeing is hardly believing. It’s all a matter of perspective. A photograph can tell as many lies as the people in that photograph; maybe even more; given that there are two sides to every person and every story. Just because you see someone being nice to you doesn’t mean they actually mean well. Most times, everyone has intentions of their own.
5. Be Careful With Your Words
Words can kill and words can bring emotions and people alive. Never underestimate the power of words. When you use strong words, they instill stronger reactions. True, people say that actions speak louder than words. But, sometimes, words can be so loud, they don’t require actions to cause reactions. If you love someone, say it only if you mean it. If you want something from someone, ask them. Use your words; but use them kindly.
6. Silence Can Say A Lot
Just like words, the lack of it can be just as, if not more, impressionable. Your silences can make a person go crazy. Bet you didn’t know that, huh? Your silences can mean you don’t care enough. Your silence means you choose to ignore. Your silence could cause someone else to be silent; even if they have a lot to tell you.
7. Actions Speak
Louder, or not, your actions have a voice of their own. Every move you make affects someone or the other—directly, or indirectly. They say, if a butterfly flaps its wings in New Mexico, it causes a hurricane in China. The theory of chaos. Everything you do has repercussions. And more often than not, these repercussions affect the people associated with you, whether or not you mean it.
8. Don’t Assume Things
Just because someone looks okay does not mean they’re okay. Just because someone is mean to you, doesn’t mean they hate you. Just because someone smiles at you doesn’t mean they like you. There’s a thousand ways this can go. The point is never assume anything about anyone.
9. Secrets Can Be Dangerous
The more secrets someone has, the more closed they are. The more closed someone is, the more unpredictable they are. Unpredictability isn’t always a bad thing. But, an unpredictable person is one who can never be counted on. They are dangerous because you never know what stunt they’ll pull on you. Stay away from secrets. And most of all, don’t tell anyone your own, unless you are certain that you can trust that person with your life.
10. Talking Is Important
Sometimes, it’s as good as breathing; although, not as easy. I, for one, tend to think that talking is overrated. But, don’t listen to me; I’m a lost cause. Listen to the experts and after watching ‘13 Reasons Why’, listen to the characters. Talking matters. There is always someone listening; it could be a parent, a friend, a stranger. The idea is to talk.
11. Stand Against Wrongdoing
What’s wrong is wrong. And nothing can make that right. Betraying the ones you love, cheating on a partner, stealing from someone, framing someone, killing someone and raping someone—these are all WRONG. And the only way to call it out is by saying it out loud. It doesn’t matter if it was someone you thought could never do wrong, or someone you’ve always been indebted to. By keeping quiet, you’re letting the wrong become more powerful. And we don’t need more of that in the world.
12. Express Your Feelings Before It’s Too Late
Life is incredibly short and uncertain. You can never tell for sure if this moment is the last moment you will ever see someone. There is no point in hiding, or burying your feelings just because you assume, disbelieve, hurt and don’t talk. It might not amount to anything. When you leave some things unsaid, they often go unheard. And that’s the worst kind of silence. Take it from someone who’s been there way too much.
13. Suicide Is Never The Answer
I know that sometimes, it feels like it’s the end of the world, that there is no point to anything anymore. I know that sometimes, you don’t feel anything anymore and it feels like nothings matters to anyone anyway. That’s never true. Your life has meaning and purpose and it is up to you to find that purpose. Yes, it’s hard. It’s depressing and, along the way, you’ll meet people who will hurt you more than they embrace you. But, don’t give up; not on yourself. It’s not worth anything. That’s where the point ceases to exist.